After 90, my thoughts, my years

We met at the crossroads that day, without too much language, we passed each other and were always looking forward to turning each other back, but no one ever looked back. We thought that in each other’s world, we were the only one, but we didn’t expect that reality would really change everything, like a dream-like meeting, like a dream-like leaving, thinking about turning back, but there was really no possibility..     I remember you once asked me if life would not have been so miserable if we hadn’t met. I don’t know how to answer it. Maybe we are too selfish and selfish to think about it for each other..     A person walking on a street corner, shining with lights, has a feeling of relief at the moment. Maybe life is like this, tired and happy, as if accustomed to this kind of life.. Who once knew who was helpless in his heart and who remembered the past and lost time, but his heart seemed to remain unchanged.     I always thought that I could really be free and easy, at least I wouldn’t feel sad, but the thought is still, but the reality is not so. A person likes sad and lonely, but there is always a wisp of waves rolling in the world of heart..     I remember asking others’ if the meaning of life lies in enjoyment. So what is the meaning of happiness? Maybe life is not so-called enjoyment and happiness, but a desire and satisfaction of people! There is not only one kind of answer. Although I would like to find at least the answer I want, any kind of answer is far – fetched.     Always too much self, always thinking that time can change everything, but in the end? Look at yourself, it’s still the same, isn’t it? Life is not so-called wrong and right, but everyone likes to give others a standard of judgment.     In fact, I really don’t understand a lot. I just imagine what exists and does not exist with my own feelings. I have no need for life. I just created a ” miracle” to live and comfort myself. I look at other people’s stories one day and feel that others are ridiculous. I just never thought I was ridiculous..     Every day, I kept smiling, thinking that this would stop me from feeling sad, but I never thought that I was lonely and just pretended to give myself a mask in front of others.. Silent, it seems that is a good way, but I don’t know when I like not to be silent, silently thinking about what should be and should not be, feeling empty in my heart, and whether anyone has ever understood the hypocrisy behind those blanks.     Others never understand themselves and try to let others understand themselves, but they didn’t think they were stupid and stupid. Everyone has everyone’s thoughts. Why should you impose your thoughts on others and try to make them understand you? I didn’t know why I was sad. I was only so sad. I was used to asking why I was sad. I don’t know how to answer it, as if it were a kind of inherent ideological conflict..     After the 90s, a very failed me, whose thoughts and contradictions occupied me, wanted to work hard, but I didn’t know how to do it. There were tens of millions of dreams, but I didn’t know where my goals were. Confusion and worry were my only thoughts..     – Ice Butterflies